Teenagers tend to go through a phase, famously known to parents as rebellion, in some stage of their life. Is this a sign of growing up or on the contrary. an indication of the lack of upbringing?
This personal commentary is in response of the following articles.
- BBC World Service http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/articles/emotions/teenagers/rebellion.shtml
- The International Herald Tribune http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/05/03/arts/IDLEDE5.php
Synopsis: The articles are about the causes which might trigger the rebellious nature of teenagers and provides newer perspecitve, with the hope of enlightening them of what changes thier chidren might be undergoing.
"Oh, come on. Fight for your rights." That was my mentality at THAT moment. All of a sudden, I stormed towards the door, kicked it open and shouted “Dad, Mum. I WANT to go out with my friends. I have grown up. WILL you stop making decisions for me?" And I am serious. I did not know what I was doing, it all happened so quickly. It was as if a voice was "pushing" me to have my freedom.
Well, is this otherwise known to parents as, rebellion? Something which parents seemingly detest a lot? The point is, can parents understand what is going through in teenagers' minds?
Citing what Dr Jayne. Major, an expert in parenting education, said about teenage rebellion.
" Where teenagers are being pulled into... I'm an adult you
can't tell me what do to. I know everything and being pushed into... I'm just a
little baby, I don't know...pay for everything, do everything, and take care of
me. So it's conflicting emotions that they experience.”
I agree with the above. It is the contradictory ideas of who they are that makes them confused as to how they should live ther lives.
The problem intensifies when the parents begin objecting to every single decision that their child makes. My god, who wouldn't feel frustrated not having his own freedom. How can the parents be so unreasonable in controlling their child's movement such that he is virtually like a captured bird in a cage? Thus, in a bid to assert their independence as teenagers, they purposely defy the instructions of their parents. Only to feel their eardrums rattle from the incessant scoldings.
I question the intent of the parents. What do they hope to achieve with such tight control of their children? Imagine being in a remote-controlled car. You cannot do anything for yourself. In such a case, what difference is the child from a non-living thing?
Teenage Rebellion is part and parcel of maturity- the ability to make decisions on their own, the strength to admit what they have done wrong. It comes and it goes. As statistics reveal, teenagers, especially boys, have this rebellious tendency around 13, peak at 17 and diminishes by early adulthood. Should the parents overly restrict the freedom of their child,
Will he be exposed to the world?
No.
Will he grow up?
No.
Will he remain as a spoilt bred?
Yes.
Now, some of you may think that it is the responsibility of the parents to take care of their child. But watch the words I use- "Take Care". "Taking Care" is different from "Control". Let us view it in this manner. There is a limit to what parents can do, just like the amount of food one can eat. Once over the border, frustration of the kid will boil over, like over-eating causes you a stomach ache.
What parent should do is to pay special attention to their teenage child. Understand your child. Feel his heart. Talk out your problems with one another, not controlling his actions, but unleashing the power of parental love.
Recent research suggests that bad teenage behaviour is a sign of healthy personality. So, is teenage rebellion necessarily a bad thing? I doubt so. For you know, it might be a blessing in disguise.
